Go Dad Go!

A self-important blog about riding bikes, raising kids and the all-too-rare nexus of these two pursuits.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tour Game Update: Reminders and a Special Feature

Mes amis:

First, just a couple of reminders:
We're up to 36 players, and I've heard from a number of others, so if you haven't done so yet, please send in your money. It's $10 to 2600 Camino Lenada/Oakland, CA 94611, or $11 Paypal to mackfee@hotmail.com (our Paypal account is under Karen's name; no, this is not some laundering scheme). Get that money in by the start of the Prologue and you'll be entered into the drawing for the CTS jersey (though I in no way intend to conduct a simple drawing; we'll come up with some convoluted, Tour-oriented means of picking a winner).
Speaking of which, be sure to go to to learn about CTS' Do the Tour feature, and to download your first workouts. I've received our first report from one of our players, who told me that the Prologue-based workout was a very intense one.
We've lost a few riders to injury and questionable coaches' selections, so I'm pasting and attaching an updated rider price list. You can make changes to your team up until the final deadline.

Next, to the important element of this email: a new feature intended to make the FLKTDFFG more accessible to the layfan: a little something I'm calling "Theme and Dream Teams." Not simple all-star dream teams, these (if I could come up with that, I'd have actually won some money in this thing at some point; besides, the pure Dream Team concept went out with Magic, Bird and Jordan in Barcelona); rather, those of you who are finding the prospect of selecting a team to be rather daunting can select one of the following theme-based teams. Note that this is no gimmick! I'm pretty convinced that any one of these teams could compete handily against the expert picks that many of us will try to make. Plus, they're all legal, as all of them will fall within the DM1,000,000 limit.

Here, then, are the Theme and Dream Teams:

Team Hottie: My lovely assistant Karen will assist me in selecting the five best-looking riders from the price list. (Not that I couldn't or wouldn't do it myself; in fact, I'd feel perfectly comfortable doing so. It's just that Karen really seems to relish this opportunity.) Team Hottie members will include some chiseled northern European jaws and some luxuriant Italian coifs. Based on my preliminary, entirely comfortable and confident scan of rider photos, our first decision is going to be choosing between Boonen and Basso. Other candidates include Valverde, Caucchiolo, Simoni and Leipheimer, as long as he doesn't remove his helmet. Remember: while looking good doesn't necessarily translate into riding well, it sure can make watching them ride more enjoyable.

Team Not-So-Hottie: I'd never be so insensitive as to deem a rider (or anyone else) aesthetically unpleasing -- until he or she mounts a bike. Then they're fair game, since characterizing a rider's on-cycle appearance is one of the sport's proven pastimes (what else are you going to do on a six hour training ride?). Guys like Francisco "Lurch" Mancebo and Alexandre "Flying Forehead" Vinokourov sure can ride a bike -- and sure look ugly while doing so. Other candidates include Floyd "Soggy Goatee" Landis and Michael "Chicken with the Flu" Rasmussen.

Team Tempting Fate: Imagine a team comprised entirely of riders who have been either convicted of or strongly suspected of performance-enhancing drug use -- and imagine the suspense, knowing that at any moment, any one of them could vault to glory -- or plummet to suspension. Whether it's David Millar, Danilo DiLuca or anyone on Liberty Seguros Wurth, this Theme Team will surely liven things up for its owner.

Team Rip Waters: Named for a college friend who had the coolest name ever, especially for a water polo player, this Theme and Dream Team will be made up of guys with sweet names. Likely members include Tom Boonen (because it rhymes with "phonin'" not "spoonin'"), Thor Hushovd, Paolo Savodelli, and Stuart O'Grady. Levi Leipheimer may make the cut; I can't decide if his name is bold in its alliteration, or just Children of the Corn-creepy. Floyd, Mayo, and Boogerd will definitely not make it, but Joost Posthuma may get a special promotion to priced-rider status just to be eligible for this team, for very obvious reasons.

The Armadita, aka Little Spanish Dudes who Go Uphill Really Fast: Again, I don't mean to be insensitive; like Snoop Dogg, I'm just sayin' it like it izz. As in years past, Spain has produced an incredible set of climbers, all of whom weigh in at about a buck-thirty, and all of whom rode the Pyrenees when they were still on training wheels. Likely members: Mayo, Marchante and Rujano; I may include Rasmussen in order to promote diversity in the ranks.

So there you have them -- this year's Theme and Dream Teams. Other possibilities: a team based on riders from countries with strong World Cup teams, Team America and Team Unfulfilled Potential.

If you're staring at the rider list and just not sure where to start, feel free to send me a quick email saying, "Hey Mike -- I at least want to enjoy watching the Tour, so sign me up for Team Hottie," or "Mike, I just love saying 'Stuart O'Grady' in my best Phil Liggett voice, so I'll take Team Rip Waters."

Again, I bet your chances are just as good as anyone else's.

Counting the days -
Mike

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